Life of Brian Quotes and Quotation

• "But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

• "Nobody is to stone anybody until I blow this whistle. Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say Jehovah." [Speaker is stoned]

• "I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few."

• "Now you listen here! He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy! Now go away!"

• [Blind man]: "It's a miracle! Before I was blind but now I can see!" [Falls into a hole]

• "There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no messiah."

• "What are you doing creeping round a cowshed at 2 O'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me."

• [Brian, to a crowd:] "You are all individuals!"
  [Crowd] "YES YES WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"
  [Brian:] "You are all different."
  [Crowd] "YES WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT"
  [Lone voice in the crowd:] "I'm not."
  [Person next to him]: "SHH!"

• "I'm Brian, and so is my wife!"

• "Anybody here who does not want to be crucifed, raise their hand now...that's what I thought." [Everybody is crucified so nobody can raise their hand.]

• "Always look on the bright side of life."

• "Always look on bright side of death, just before you draw your terminal breath."

• "It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them."
  • "But... you can't have babies."
    • "Don't you oppress me."
      • "I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!"

• "He has given us... His shoe!"

• "I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'"
  • "Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?"
    • "Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."

• Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
  Woman: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity!
  Brian: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
  Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
  Brian: Now, fuck off!
  [silence]
  Arthur: How shall we fuck off, o Lord?
  Brian: Oh, just go away! Leave me alone.

• (Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act)
  Centurion : What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
  Brian : It says, "Romans go home. "
  Centurion : No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
  Brian : Er, "Romanus"!
  Centurion : Goes like?
  Brian : Annus.
  Centurion : Vocative plural of "Annus" is?
  Brian : Er, er, annus, anni, anno, annum, anno, anni... "Romani"!
  Centurion : (Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti) "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
  Brian : Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
  Centurion : So, "eunt" is... ?
  Brian : Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
  Centurion : But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use... ?
  (He twists Brian's ear)
  Brian : Aaagh ! The imperative !
  Centurion : Which is... ?
  Brian : Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
  Centurion : How many Romans?
  Brian : Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
  Centurion : (Writes "ite") "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
  Brian : Dative !
  (the Centurion holds a sword to his throat)
  Brian : Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "ad domum" !
  Centurion : But "Domus" takes the locative, which is... ?
  Brian : Er, "Domum" !
  Centurion : (Writes "Domum") Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
  Brian : Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
  Centurion : Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

• Reg: The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front.
  Stan: Yeah the Judean People's Front.
  Reg: Yeah.
  Stan: And the Popular Front of Judea.
  Reg: Yeah.
  Stan: And the People's Front of Judea.
  Reg: Yea...what?
  Stan: The People's Front of Judea.
  Reg: We're the People's Front of Judea!
  Stan: I thought we were the Popular Front.
  Reg: People's Front!
  Francis: What ever happened to the Popular Front?
  Reg: He's over there. (points to a lone man)
  Reg, Stan, Francis, and Judith: SPLITTER!

• Pontius Pilate: Whom shall you have me welease?
  Crowd: Welease Wodger!

• Monty Python and the Holy Grail
• Monty Python's the Meaning of Life

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