Futurama Quotes and Quotation

• "Space, it seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you. And that's how you play the game."

• "It's the future! My parents, my coworkers, my girlfriend. I'll never see any of them again! Yahooo!"

• "I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?"

• "I've never seen a supernova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky."

• "I'm experienced with foraging. I used to find edible mushrooms on my bath mat!"

• "I didn't ask for a perfectly reasonable excuse!"

• "I know Big Vinny said he was giving me the kiss of death, but I'm pretty sure he was gay."

• "Well, thanks to the internet, I'm now bored with sex."

• "But you're better than normal: you're abnormal."

• "I'm literally angry with rage!"

• "I like you, Seymour. You're not always judging me like all the other dogs...are you???"

• "I used to dream about being an astronaut. I just never had the grades. Nor the physical endurance. Plus I threw up a lot and nobody liked spending a week with me."

• "I feel like a rat. I mean, here I am whining like a pig while all along she was lonely as a frog."

• "You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless."

• "I'd always thought by this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls."

• "I hear that! I spent most of my teen-years loving my body! Of course, it was tough love, but..."

• "Now that's what I call a thousand years of progress: a Bavarian Cream dog that's self-microwaving!"

• "People said I was dumb but I proved them."

• "I'm not a robot like you. I don't like having disks crammed into me... unless they're Oreos, and then only in the mouth."

• "All right… It's Saturday night. I have no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix tape. Let's rock!"

• "Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid? The one where the fish part's at the top, and the girl part's on the bottom?"

• "I guess you wanna see my Fry hole then?"

• "That's the saltiest thing I've ever eaten...and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt!"

• "I'll be whatever I wanna do."

• Fry: Maybe you can't understand this but I've finally found what I need to be happy, and it's not friends. It's things.
  Bender: I'm a thing.

Bender

• Fry: "How can I live my life when I can't tell good from evil?
  Bender: "Eh, they're both fine choices, whatever floats your boat."

• "When I grow up, I want to be a steamshovel!"

• "Hail, hail Robonia - a land I didn't make up!"

• "C'mon, it's just like making love! Y'know...Left, down...Rotate 62 degrees...Engage rotor..."

• "Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker."

• "That's no flying saucer! That's my ass!"

• "I can't keep running people over. I'm not famous enough to get away with it." ("The Honking")

• "Robots don't have emotions, and that sometimes makes me feel sad."

• "Bender: I refuse to fight. I'm a conscientious objector!
  Fry: What?
  Bender: You know, a coward."

• "Beneath that cold metal exterior beats the heart of a robot."

• "Okay kids, it's nine o'clock, you know what that means... daddy's sick of looking at you, so go to bed."

• "Interesting. No, wait, the other thing. Tedious."

• "Have you ever tried turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"

• "Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!"

• "My life, and by extension everyone else's, is meaningless."

• "Are you familiar with the old robot saying: "DOES NOT COMPUTE"?"

• "I am bender, please insert girder."

• "Yeah, life is hilariously cruel."

• "Hey! Do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No! So beat it!"

• "Oh, wait you're serious. Let me laugh even harder."

• "I never meant to hurt you. Just destroy everything you ever believed in."

• "Aww, you know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortunes."

• "Bite my shiny metal ass."

• "Fry, of all the friends I've had, you're the first."

• "Fork over the lady fingers, cookie."

• "Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!"

• "Kill all humans!"
• "Kiss my shiny metal ass"

Leela

• "Look, I don't know about any of your previous captains but I intend to do as little dying as possible."

• "We're probably gonna make it...but we might not!"

• "Well, it's a type M planet. So it should at least have Roddenberries."

• "Fry: I have an idea!
  Leela: I have a better one."

• "Well at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator."

• "Oh, Lord.. He's made of wood!"

• "At the risk of sounding negative, No!"

• "Birds don't crawl."

• "Cool your jowls, Nixon'

• "If the oxygen holds out, we might live long enough to starve to death."

Prof. Farnsworth

• "Sweet Zombie Jesus!"

• "Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!"

• "That question was less stupid; though you asked it in a profoundly stupid way."

• "Well, in those days, Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable."

• "Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a Great White shark — oh suddenly you've gone too far!"

• "Doomsday device? Now the ball's in Farnsworth's court! I suppose I could part with one and still be feared..."

• "Know ye now what it feels like to be dog god!"

• "So long, suckers!"

• "With that big new contract, I've been able to make those government mandated upgrades you've all been suing me about."

• "Oh dear, they'll be killed on our doorstep. And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd."

• "Prof. Fansworth: This is as good a time as any to try out my new Pressure Pill.
  [takes out black, egg-shaped pill]
  Fry: I can't swallow that!
  Prof. Farnsworth: Well then good news! It's a suppository!"

• "This is uncomfortable and humiliating. Now, if only they could put it in suppository form..."

• "No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!" (at the track, when a competing horse wins in a "quantum finish")

• "Well, getting the brain out was easy. The hard part was getting the brain _out_!"

• "It's made of Dolomite--the tough black mineral that won't cop out when there's heat all about!"

• "Free Waterfall Jr.: You can't own property, man!
  Prof. Farnsworth: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie!"

• "Pazzuzzu, you ungrateful gargoyle. I put you through college, and this is how you repay me!"

• "If anybody wants me I'll be in the angry dome!"

• "They say madness runs in our family. Some people even call me crazy! And why? Because I dared to dream....of my own race of atomic monsters! Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies!!"

• "Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?!"

• Fry: "You mean that chip will allow Bender to experience emotions?"
  Professor Farnsworth: "If by 'allow' you mean 'force'."
  

Zapp Brannigan

• "If we can hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards... Checkmate!"

• "Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast."

• "When I'm in command, every mission's a suicide mission!"

• "Brannigan: Kif, have 'the boy' lay out my formal shorts.
  Lt. Kif: 'The boy', sir?
  Brannigan: You, you lay out my formal shorts.
  Lt. Kif: [sigh]"

• "In a game of chess you can never let your opponent see your pieces."

• "What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"

• "You win again, gravity!"

• "She's a beautiful ship - I'm gonna fly her brains out."

• "She's built like a steak house, but she handles like a bistro."

• "Kif, I have made it with a woman! Inform the men."

• "If there's an alien out there I can't kill, I haven't met him and killed him yet."

• "Stop EXPLODING, you cowards!"

• "As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. SURPRISE!"

Dr. Zoidberg

• "They took away my credit cards."

• "The captains table! What an honor!"

• "What?! It's not even scratch 'n' sniff!"

• "Hurry up with the water! I'm steaming inside my own shell I am! It's that hot it is!"

• "Haha! Now, the rubber-band is on the other claw!"

• "Well, don't look into it, but I'm a rich, respected doctor!"

• "Young lady, pick a mouth, open it, and say..!" [to Fry]

• "I didn't have the heart to tell him.. It's fin-fungus! He'll be floating upside down by morning!" [to Bender]

• "Wubwubwub!" (scuttles away)

• "Oh no! The professor will kill me for breaking the bottle, but if Zoiberg fixes the bottle, maybe gifts!"

• "I'm homeless! There's where I live!" [climbing out of one of Farnsworth maniac machines]

• "It's toe-tappingly tragic!"

• "It's fin-rut isn't it? Tell me it's not fin-rut!"

• "Look at me!, I'm Doctor Zoidberg, homeowner!" [after climbing into a sea-shell]

• "No matter what it is you're doing tonight, I'm available!"

• "The sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!"

• "Now Zoidberg is the hero!"

• "Bender, you gotta spring me! I'll never survive in here... I'm too PRETTY!"

Misc

• "Aye aye captain! I mean...only one eye. I mean...yes sir! Um...ma'am." - Amy

• "No! I wish I had two mommies..." - Dwight

• "I will always remember you...MEMORY DELETED!" - Lucy Liu Bot

• "Computer: Leela, you've got mail!
  Leela: Oh...
  Computer: It's not spam!"

• "Hermes: As a representive of the Central Bureaucracy, I order you to dispose of that waste safely, or bribe me. Either way, it will cost $500.
  Bender: I can dump those in the sewers for $499 and 100 cents.
  Professor: I know I've been duped, but I'll pay for the convenience."

• "My manwich!" - Hermes

• "Life... Death... Either way I'll be confined to a small cubicle!" - Hermes

• Bender: "You know, I was God once."
  God:"Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

• "Dewey you fool, your decimal system has played right into my hands!" - Giant Brain

• "There are only three real monsters, kid: Dracula, Blacula, and Son of Kong." - Fry's boss at the Pizza Parlour

• "Welcome to the world of tomorrow!" - Terry

• "'Please, Don-Bot...look into your hard drive and open your mercy file!' Don-Bot: 'File not found.'"

• "Mwah ha ha ha ha! Oily humanoid." -Morbo, the news monster

• "This jerk chicken is good...I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked." -Lrrr

• "Why does Ross, the largest Friend, not simply eat the other five?" -Lrrr

• "Whoa, that hippie is really kicking in now..." - (Stoned) Lrrr

• "My hands are huge ... they can touch anything but themselves!" (Touches hands together) "Oh, wait..." - (Stoned) Lrrr

• "Whoa! It feels like I'm flying!" - (Stoned) Lrrr

• "Jam a bastard in it you crap!" -Mom

• "I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts." -Mom

• "Make that bitch your bitch you bastard!" -Mom

• "Knowledge brings fear." - Mars University motto

• "Fry, you Emu-bellied coward!" - Hick Soldier

• (In a sad voice) "This isn't war, it's murder." (In a cheery voice) "This isn't war, it's moirder." - iHawk

• "Leave now before I go Cambodian on your ass!" - President Nixon's Head

• "Keep our sewers clean." - Sign in New New York sewers

• "Can't you see that we're just pawns in his [Melllvar's] diabolical game of checkers?!" - William Shatner, "Where no Fan has Gone Before"

• "If you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all." - God, "Godfellas"

• "I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe." - RoboHungarian, "The Honking"

• "I want you to rig this election just like Kennedy rigged the 1960 election. Damn bean-eating war hero." President Nixon's Head

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