Adam Carolla Quotes and Quotation

• At 13 you whack off 19 times a day anyway. Imagine being on a Viagra and like a liter of Mountain Dew and home alone with the VCR on a snow day from school. His mom would come home from work and open the front door and a big avalanche of semen would come out and wash her down the street.

• I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

• I'd show up at raves at like 3 in the moring and just be like garbage man. I'd be straight as an arrow and everyone else would be passed out, and I'd scrape up what was left and have sex with it.

• My brain and ass should be in the Smithsonian after I die, or even before I die.

• I spoke to my dad and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me, But that was me and my sister and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.

• Person asks: um... I just wanted to say hey. I am chatting from alaska and wanted to ask Adam if he's single.
  Adam: i'd say yes, but my girlfriend is right behind me so no...

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