Age disparity in sexual relationships Guide, Meaning , Facts, Information and Description
In many human societies, age disparity in sexual relationships is common. Often, older males will choose female mates years younger than themselves. The converse is also often true (though to a lesser degree): younger females do pursue older males in return. Situations involving a younger male with an older female also exist, but are not as common. Age disparities in homosexual relationships are also common.Many psychologists have an intense interest in this phenomenon of age disparity. Age disparity, especially in extreme cases, is often regarded to be a paraphilia.
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2 History 3 Causes 4 Social criticism 5 See also |
Many arranged marriages are age-disparate, with the husband being much older than the wife. For example, John Rolfe married Pocahontas in 1614; he was at least a 10 years older than her. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 10 years younger than her husband. Mail-order brides are frequently younger than their husbands.
Age disparity in homosexual relationships is, perhaps, even more historically common than in heterosexual relationships. In Ancient Greece, pre-Modern Japan, Melanesia, and Renaissance Florence, pederasty was a socially acceptable practice. In Ancient Greece, these relationships were sanctioned by the law. Pederasty involves an adult man acting as an educator, mentor, and sex partner to an adolescent male.
The United States Census Bureau's March 2000 statistics show some 800,000 unmarried American couples are more than five years divergent in age, and 7 percent of women married more than once have a husband 6 or more years younger than themselves.
Age disparities are very common in Hollywood culture. For example, Michael Douglas is 25 years older than his second wife Catherine Zeta-Jones. Michelle Branch is 19 years younger than her husband Teddy Landau. Mena Suvari is 17 years younger than her husband Robert Brinkmann. Ashton Kutcher is 15 years younger than his girlfriend Demi Moore. Kate Hudson is 13 years younger than her husband Chris Robinson.
Royalty have similarly had such freedom; Henry VIII, for instance, chose some of his brides far younger than himself, and a number of female monarchs elected to choose younger regents.
Younger partners may be searching for someone who is intellectually their peer, or they may also be looking for someone who is both sexually attractive and financially secure. Younger male partners may also be seeking an older female partner to whom fecundity is no longer an issue.
Younger partners may see their relationship with an older person as a way of increasing their status within their society. This phenomenon is colloquially called "gold digging".
Many psychologists study the phenomenon of age disparity, and wonder whether there may be deeper motives behind it other than the aforementioned. They have coined a number of terms to describe various types of psychological preferences:
Slang terms
A number of slang terms exist to describe pairings in which one individual is much older than the other:
History
Historically, unequal pairings are quite common; many men in positions of prestige or power have taken young women as lovers or wives. At the same time, women of influence have had no qualms in seeking the affections of young men.Causes
There are many factors which draw both young and old into such a age-disparate relationships.Social pressures
Older partners may also seek the connection with the culture of youth, maintaining a connection with the fashion, the music, the media which their age group has ostensibly outgrown. They view the generation gap as an obstacle to pass.Psychological
Older partners may seek the youth which has escaped them. They may seek the sexual vigor of the young, which partners of their own age group may no longer possess. Younger partners, on the other hand, may be seeking a parent figure.
Of these, it is pedophilia that has drawn the most social criticism. Age of consent laws have been passed to deter children from being coerced into sexual relationships.
Age disparity as paraphilia
There is also the issue of whether all age-disparate relationships falls under the definition of paraphilia. Individuals who exclusively pursue age-disparate relationships are generally classified by psychologists as parasexual, that is, their behavior deviates significantly from the social norm. Individuals who occasionally pursue age-disparate relationships are labelled as parasexuals less frequently, except in extreme cases like pedophilia. As is speculated with other practices considered paraphilia, sexual imprinting may play a role in age-disparate relationships.
Age disparity in homosexual relationships as paraphilia
It is unclear — and highly controversial — whether homosexuality is in fact a paraphilia. Age disparities in homosexual relationships could be seen as evidence for homosexuality as paraphilia, but it is inconclusive whether age disparities in homosexual relationships are more common than in heterosexual relationships. It is also inconclusive whether such an argument is valid in the first place: age disparity and homosexuality may very well occur independently. Additionally, few psychological studies of homosexuality have focused on this specific issue, so the question remains open for debate and interpretation. If, in fact, a higher rate of age-disparity does occur in homosexual relationships, it may be that, having overcome (in some cases strong) societal disapproval of homosexuality, these individuals are less likely to feel constrained by societal disapproval of age differences as well.
Social criticism
Age-disparate relationships are frequently seen as aberrant or even perverse. Many societies frown heavily on the "gold digger" mentality. Additionally, extreme disparities in sexual relationships — especially ones involving minorss — are generally denounced as pedophilia. The age difference that is generally accepted by society varies directly with the age of the individuals involved in the relationship; larger differences are more acceptable with older individuals. For example, while a seven-year difference might be considered unacceptable (even illegal) between a 22-year-old and a 15-year-old, it is less-commented-upon between a 35-year-old and a 28-year-old, and unnoticed completely between a 72-year-old and a 65-year-old.
Response to criticism
Few people are willing to defend extreme cases of age disparity such as pedophilia. In cases where both partners are consenting adults, however, age-disparate couples are quick to defend the legitimacy of their relationships.
While it is true that some relationships have been labelled as "gold digging" (that is to say, the younger partner's primary interest in the older partner is his/her financial circumstance), a popular adage is "love is blind". For those who feel they are in love, it doesn't matter if their partner is several years older than they are. And as factors such as the divorce rate, changing patterns in dating, and basic incompatibilities affect personal relationships, the average age difference between prospective partners has also changed.
Whatever the case, the younger partner is appreciative of the life experience and wisdom the older partner brings, and the older partner appreciates the vigor, enthusiasm, and new political, social, and cultural perspectives their young partners have to offer.